Ready to Forget You, 2021

Let’s be honest. 2021 was a horrible year. It’s as if 2020 dared its successor to do worse—because how much worse could 2021 be?

It’s not to say that some good things didn’t happen in 2021. I read a few books. Not nearly as many as I had hoped, but I managed to work through a few. I pursued another great career opportunity and re-entered the retail luxury industry with a French brand. I moved (again) from New Haven to Fairfield with my boyfriend and we bought a house. We spent a lot of time wining and dining in Fairfield, Westport, and South Norwalk so that I could introduce him to the area. We even managed to leave the house and travel a bit.

So. What exactly made 2021 so awful?

Let’s start with why my boyfriend and I left New Haven. In January, we experienced an extreme act of gun violence in our neighborhood—it took several months for us to learn that the incident was linked to the murder case of a Yale graduate student. We temporarily lived at my parents’ home in Connecticut while we prepared to find a new place somewhere in Fairfield County.

We moved into our Fairfield house over Memorial Day weekend.

Less than a month later, I was getting phone calls all morning and afternoon from my brother, my mom, and one of my aunts. Things weren’t looking good—I should not have gone to work that day.

I got the final phone call from my aunt. My dad passed away on the first day of summer. It had been less than a year since we had sat at the oncology wing in Providence. There are no words to describe going through the birthdays and the holidays and the normal days without him. The only solace is that he is with the rest of the family, including Adam.

…

And through all of this, the COVID-19 has made itself an unwelcome and constant presence.

After living through 2021, there’s a part of me that couldn’t be less interested in the future. Why would I be interested in a future that will continue to bring bad news?

The reality is that it’s a 50-50 shot at experiencing tragedies or miracles. For the most part, I’m willing to continue believing in miracles and other better things.

I don’t know what 2022 will bring—I can only hope that it will bring miracles to a world that could desperately use them right about now.